I’m not sure exactly where to begin or how to share a story about how my life was molded by my dad, but I’m going to try. It’s taken me a while to write this, but I wanted to share.
Day three of practice for the recent Bassmaster Elite Series tournament on Lay Lake started off like most practice days. It’s 4:30 a.m., and Candy and I are up early because I wanted to launch about 30 miles north of Bozo’s campground where we were staying. I asked her to take me to launch the boat and bring the truck and trailer back. I would fish my way back to the campground because it would allow me more time to cover areas where I hadn’t looked.
As we drove in the dark, we chatted about the usual last day of practice stuff and what she could do to help me get ready for the tournament. But as I drove, I would see little things that reminded me of long ago times, and I would tell her some of the stories and memories. In our 39 years of marriage, for some reason, we never spent a lot of time together on Lay Lake. She’s been to countless weigh-ins at Lay Lake and has been by my side to experience many big wins and happy times, but unlike Neely Henry, we never spent many days on the water together.
As we arrived at the ramp, I was completely unprepared for what was about to happen. As the morning light brightened the sky, I saw a boat ramp that held a lifetime of memories. It was instantly like I was traveling back in time, and many days and memory after memory were going through my mind. I was totally helpless to what was happening.
Candy was looking at me and could tell something was wrong. She tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t speak. A river of tears flowed from my eyes, and all I could do was look down and walk to the boat. I was so shaken and confused by the raw emotions of the moment that I couldn’t explain anything to her. I simply got in the boat head down as she backed me in. As the boat entered the water I simply backed away. I could see her face in the mirrors as she looked to see if I was OK; I simply idled away.
I’ll be very honest and say that final day of practice may have been one of the most emotional days I’ve ever spent in a boat. Everywhere I looked I saw something that reminded me of special times spent on Lay Lake long ago. I struggled with making sense of the whole thing — why today, why now? I’ve fished countless tournaments on Lay Lake, and I’ve fished the biggest bass tournament in our sport on Lay — the Bassmaster Classic in 2010. Emotions ran high during those days but nothing like this day.
As I went about my day of practice, my mind was preoccupied with the events of the morning and what caused this sudden rush of emotion. Sometime midmorning I heard the sound of a small outboard engine running, and I could tell it was coming up the river toward me. As it came into view I saw it was a flat-bottom aluminum boat that was set up almost identically to the boat I spent many days in with my dad.
Now I was really scratching my head wondering, and I started thinking if someone was trying to tell me something.
You see, a lot of the memories that flashed through my mind were of days spent with my dad on Lay Lake. Although we won many tournaments there together in later years, it was childhood memories that flashed through my mind. Dad always took me fishing. He’d load me up on Saturdays or Sunday afternoons, and we’d fish somewhere on the Coosa, the Warrior or Tennessee Rivers.
My dad’s and my relationship is no different than most father-and-son relationships, and in those days we were inseparable. Well, until I hit my mid-teenage years and I became hard headed and I was sure that I knew more than he did. We drifted apart a little as I spent time with my friends, but we still fished and hunted together quite a bit. After a few years — and having sons of my own — I started to see the world differently and started to see how right he was about most things.
You see, my dad never had a father at home. He basically came from nothing and was determined and driven to provide a stable home for us and instill a work ethic in me that would allow me to survive on my own later in life. If I’m honest about myself, it’s very apparent he was successful, and I have him to thank.
The clock and days of our lives have continued to pass, and dad’s health has been deteriorating. It’s been several years since we’ve spent a day in the boat together, we haven’t gotten to hunt or do most of the things we’ve always done. We still go have breakfast together and run errands, or simply talk about my life, and I’m thankful for every day.
The past several years have been hard on my dad and our family. He suffers from many health-related issues that have caused multiple falls that have led to surgeries and stays at rehab facilities. Simply put, the past few years have been rough on everyone in our family.
As I spent the last few hours of practice on Lay Lake I started to make sense of everything that had unfolded that morning, and I started to make sense of that crazy emotional day. My dad and I never showed each other a lot of outward affection. It hasn’t been until the past few years that we’ve told each other, “I love you.”
I knew I was loved and that’s all that mattered, but there’s so much that I needed to say. I didn’t want to be standing there one day wishing I had told him or told the world what an awesome father and role model he was and simply for him to hear me say…
“I love you, daddy!” Happy Father’s Day.
